Sunday, December 3, 2023

The 7 best horror movies coming to Shudder in December 2023

In today’s world of streaming, Shudder has become a haven for aficionados of the horror genre.

The streamer has created a cinematic world saturated with horror, suspense, and the eerie unknown for its subscribers. Whether it’s brilliant original titles or movies that have found a new home on the platform, Shudder’s extensive horror catalog will keep any fan of the genre thoroughly engaged. This December, a new lineup of horror films will be added to the platform for your viewing pleasure and the following seven titles have already skipped the line to join the must-watch list.

7. Black Christmas (2006)

Written and directed by Glen Morgan, this slasher film is a loose remake of the 1974 Canadian film of the same name. The story is set in the fictional Clement University and revolves around a group of sorority sisters. As the story unfolds, they find themselves targeted by a mysterious killer. They are haunted by a figure that once lived in the building they now inhabit.

While being picked off one by one, the sisters have to survive and stop the killer. Black Christmas stars an ensemble cast, including Katie Cassidy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Robert Mann, among others. This is one of the best horror movies to watch on Shudder this season. It ties together horror elements with the Christmas holiday and has been available on the service since Dec. 1.

6. Wendigo (2001)

Starring Patricia Clarkson, Jake Weber, and Eric Per Sullivan, Wendigo centers around a family’s trip to upstate New York. Their journey takes a sinister turn when their car collides with a deer and severely injures the animal. Subsequently, the incident sets off a chain of events that leads the family into the eerie realm of the Wendigo. The Wendigo is a sinister entity from Native American folklore that has supernatural abilities. Over the course of the story, tensions escalate while the lines between reality and the mythical are significantly blurred. Wendigo will be available to stream on Shudder from Dec. 11.

5. Barbarians (2021)

This Charles Dorfman-directed horror movie will be available to stream on Shudder from Dec. 25. Barbarians focuses on two couples who go from having dinner, to having their lives turned entirely upside-down. Throughout the film, the tension between both couples is palpable and it gets progressively worse as the story unravels. However, when masked figures show up at their doorstep, they are faced with a much bigger threat. While it is classified as a horror movie, Barbarians is equally thrilling and will keep viewers engaged till the very end. The movie stars Iwan Rheon, Tom Cullen, Catalina Sandino-Moreno, and Ines Spiridonov in lead roles.

4. I Trapped the Devil (2019)

I Trapped the Devil was written, produced, directed, and edited by Josh Lobo. The supernatural horror offering is just as interesting as its title implies. Additionally, it’s noted for its suspenseful atmosphere and exploration of psychological tension. The story follows Matt (played by AJ Bowen) and his wife Karen (Susan Burke). The couple visits Matt’s estranged brother Steve (Scott Poythress) during the Christmas holiday and soon after they arrive at his house, they discover a shocking and disturbing truth – Steve has locked a man in his basement whom he claims to be the Devil. To find out how the rest of the movie unfolds, stream it on Shudder from Dec. 11.

3. Devil’s Pass (2013)

A group of students decide to investigate the Dyatlov Pass Incident by retracing the steps of the ill-fated expedition. They expect to solve the mystery and document their journey as they go. However, things unfortunately go south soon after their journey begins. As they venture into the mountains, they encounter strange occurrences, hostile weather conditions, and eerie phenomena. Undoubtedly, Devil’s Pass will send chills down most viewers’ spines throughout its duration. It is one of the horror movies that will be streaming on Shudder from Dec. 11.

2. It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)

A slasher film with a comedic twist, It’s a Wonderful Knife is a spin on the classic Christmas taleIt’s a Wonderful Life (1943). The story’s central character Winnie Carruthers (portrayed by Jane Widdop) heroically stopped a killer on Christmas Eve one year prior. However, in the present day, feeling down, she wishes she was never born. Well, that may have been her biggest mistake of the year as her wish comes true. While she finds herself in an alternate universe where she never existed, the killer she had originally stopped before is now free to kill once more. Joel McHale, Justin Long, and Jess McLeod, among others, also star in the movie. It’s a Wonderful Knife is now streaming on Shudder.

1. The Sacrifice Game (2023)

This Christmas-themed Shudder original will be available on the streaming service from Dec. 8. Starring Mena Massoud, Olivia Scott Welch, and Gus Kenworthy, it promises to be a chilling and entertaining watch. In general, Shudder originals have a reputation for being enjoyable, especially to horror enthusiasts. As such, The Sacrifice Game shouldn’t disappoint if it follows that trend. Without giving too much away, the movie is set in a boarding school, takes place around Christmas, and oh, involves ritualistically sacrificing people. Tune in to Shudder on Dec. 8 to find out how one of its newest original horror movies plays out.



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Do we know if ‘Godzilla Minus One’ will be dubbed in English?

Do we know if ‘Godzilla Minus One’ will be dubbed in English?

Despite the generalized American sensibility stating that movies with subtitles are dumb and boring and might as well be in black and white or something, interest in Toho’s Godzilla Minus One has reached a fever pitch for one important reason: It looks so, so metal.

And to hear critics and audiences describe it, it is so metal. The film currently boasts a stratospheric 97% critical approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with only two detractors: A YouTuber, and a guy from The Orlando Sentinel who gave The Flash a better review than Killers of the Flower Moon. The film takes Godzilla back to his roots in postwar Japan, serving as a reverent reimagining of the kaiju’s first appearance back in 1954. Divorced of the MonsterVerse and the fractured continuity of the previous 36 entries in the series, it stands alone, screaming and exploding Tokyo with unstoppable beams of atomic fury, artistically speaking.

All of which is to say that, while the studio has yet to announce plans for a version of Godzilla Minus One dubbed in English – or into any language besides Japanese, for that matter – you shouldn’t let that be what stops you from checking it out. By almost all accounts, the movie is a thoughtful return to form for Japanese cinema’s most enduring allegory for the dangers of the nuclear age, sloughing off decades of what amounted to luchadors in rubber suits in favor of the genuinely haunting imagery and ideas present in the original movie. Besides, the sound of a 200-foot prehistoric rage beast screaming into the sky transcends language. And in case it doesn’t, subtitles are your besties, for now.



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How to get the HelloFresh Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kit and what’s included

How to get the HelloFresh Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kit and what’s included

Okay, so you know how life has spiraled into an unwaking postmodern nightmare where irony is whatever you want it to be and consequences don’t start until you die? That’s all probably unrelated to the fact that HelloFresh is selling chocolate spaghetti so that you can eat like that manchild from 2003’s Elf

Yes, HelloFresh, the subscription box service that is actively mailing you ten special offer postcards just because you read their name, is bringing back their limited edition Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kit once again. This festive box of insulin dependency sold out within minutes last year.

The meal, which is somehow not a joke anymore and it’s hard to know who to blame for that, features ingredients inspired by the culinary expertise of the lead character from the holiday classic Elf: Mini marshmallows, chocolate rice cereal, a toaster pastry, legally distinctive M&M-adjacent candies, chocolate nonpareils, chocolate and maple syrups, and Colavita brand spaghetti. Mix them all together and you’ll be amazed to find out who has custody of your kids next Christmas.

What’s in the Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kit, and why are my hands and feet tingly all the time?

In addition to a hasty coma, the kit comes packaged with a pair of Buddy-themed aprons, a set of disposable plates featuring the four food groups that elves try to stick to, an on-brand plastic to-go bag, and a recipe card, which will, according to the HelloFresh website, help you “to sleigh your breakfast, lunch or dinner.” So I guess we’re encouraging people to eat this for breakfast, too.

The Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kit touts itself as providing enough materials for two servings of chocolate-covered pasta, which implies a level of self-control that feels antithetical to the whole exercise, but whatever. Interested parties are encouraged to hover over their keyboards on Dec. 4 at 12:25 EST, which is when the meal kit goes on sale. Kits are sold on a first-come, first-served basis, and only one kit will be sold per transaction. It seems prudent to note once again that last year’s Buddy the Elf Spaghetti Kits flew off the digital shelves in no time flat, so you’ll have to act fast if you want to really stick it to your pancreas this holiday season. 

This isn’t the first time that HelloFresh has partnered with studios to bring the magic of motion pictures into the kitchen. Over the summer, the company offered meals inspired by the Pixar movie Elemental, along with plantable seed-based paper, and an April kit inspired by Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 featured Zarg Nut Bites and Mango Milk Fizz. The Elf-inspired kit does, however, mark the first time that the company has openly tried to test people’s penchant for diabetes in a Wonka-esque series of candy-based morality trials. It costs $29.99.



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How was Godzilla created? A complete timeline of the ‘King of the Monsters’

It’s only natural to want to know where monsters come from, but the results are never as interesting as you hope. With that in mind, let’s dive into the origin of Godzilla, in the hope that a well-informed public will keep the studio system from making a Hannibal Rising-style prequel about the giant lizard’s difficult relationship with his stepfather.

Where did the idea for Godzilla come from?

From a conceptual point of view, Godzilla’s origins are pretty straightforward: He’s a thundering allegory for the nuclear age. Producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, writer/director Ishirō Honda, and co-writer Takeo Murata would’ve had a difficult time being more straightforward about that when they made the 1954’s Godzilla. 

Less than a decade prior, in 1945, the American military had dropped nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the horrific results were still fresh in the minds of a traumatized nation. What’s more, a few months before the film went into production, American hydrogen bomb testing in the Bikini Atoll led to a blast of unpredicted magnitude two and a half times larger than anticipated.

Beyond the substantial amount of contamination to the local environment, the explosion showered the nearby civilian fishing vessel, Lucky Dragon Number 5, with radiation, sickening the boat’s crew and killing its radio operator. The event was recreated in the opening moments of Godzilla, and the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima served as a visual template for the monster’s tear across Tokyo.

The results are still staggering to this day. After decades of campy movies for kids, it can be easy to forget that the first Godzilla movie was a genre-defining disaster picture, inspired by some of the most haunting and monstrous events in human history. Watching clips from the 1954 film, it’s difficult to think of this as anything other than what it was: An expression of grief, fear, and trauma by people who lived through atrocities that no one will ever be capable of processing, distorted through an artistic lens for easier public consumption. As Tanaka later put it, “Godzilla is the son of the atomic bomb. He is a nightmare created out of the darkness of the human soul. He is the sacred beast of the apocalypse.”

It’s also worth noting, for the sake of not bringing the room all the way down, that Godzilla is also a phenomenal dancer.

As the years passed and the audience for Godzilla stories yo-yoed back and forth from being 8-year-old boys to being 40-year-old ex-8-year-old boys, the concept of Godzilla changed. He went from being a stand-in for the collective trauma of a nation and their fear that it all might happen again, to a birthday party mascot-slash-professional wrestler. With these shifts, and a long list of fresh-faced creative teams eager to leave their stamp on the franchise, the character’s origin story changed significantly. There’s no set, singular genesis of Godzilla — more a sampling of different thoughts on the subject, marking the sensibilities of the time periods that they came from, like musical guests on Saturday Night Live. 

What’s Godzilla’s fictional origin story?

Godzilla Minus One
Photo via Toho

In 1954’s Godzilla, the film’s title monster begins as a mystery. We learn that he was, at least theoretically, some sort of prehistoric underwater creature, living peacefully far beneath the waves and eating weird fish with his family. Then came the hydrogen bomb tests, destroying his kin and cheesing him right off, leading to the destruction of Tokyo. That Godzilla is killed at the end of the film, courtesy of the Oxygen Destroyer device — another great scientific death machine, unleashed in the hopes of ending violence. 

This was roughly the company line on Godzilla for the next 20 years: He was a sea monster, awakened by man’s hubris. In 1984, the franchise’s Heisei era began with The Return of Godzilla. Getting a head start on movies like Superman Returns and what feels like every other Terminator sequel, the film ignored everything after the original movie, picking up 30 years after the events of Godzilla ‘54. Later in this series, during 1991’s Godzilla vs. King Gidorah, audiences learned that Godzilla was actually a deformed version of the fictional Godzillasaurus, mutated by the actions of a Soviet nuclear submarine after being trapped in ice by aliens in what was supposed to be a more grounded timeline. Oh well.

2014’s Godzilla made the real-life hydrogen bomb test at the Bikini Atoll in 1954 an in-universe attempt to beat up the terrible lizard thing, now a terrible prehistoric water lizard once again. 2016’s Shin Godzilla reboot made the beast a completely new species, spawned by nuclear waste dumps. Godzilla Minus One — technically not a sequel or a prequel or part of the franchise’s over-arching convoluted storyline — depicts him as a mutated dinosaur made more dangerous by American nuclear tests in the ‘40s.

The anime series Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters posited that Godzilla is a highly evolved plant. Somehow, this was perceived as still being less dumb than the origin from the 1997 TriStar Godzilla movie: That Godzilla was an iguana until he was irradiated by the French. Those dang French. Famously always the first ones in line to drop nuclear bombs on things.



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Saturday, December 2, 2023

Why is it called ‘Godzilla Minus One?’ The title of the 37th film in the franchise, explained

Why is it called ‘Godzilla Minus One?’ The title of the 37th film in the franchise, explained

Godzilla Minus One brings back the monstrous Kaiju, who unleashes his usual brand of hell and destruction on unsuspecting and sometimes deserving victims. So, why, after fairly simple titles like Godzilla vs Mothra, Godzilla: The Planet Eater, etc, does the 37th film in the franchise have a seemingly complicated title? Well, it is not that much of a head-scratcher.

Unlike the past films in the franchise, Godzilla Minus One’s story isn’t exactly a part of the overarching storyline — it isn’t technically a prequel either — despite starring its prime antagonist. The second Japanese-produced Godzilla flick after 2016’s Shin Godzilla, the film’s plot begins during the end of World War II in 1945, where Kōichi Shikishima, a military pilot, ends up inadvertently facing Godzilla after attempting to avoid the last stages of the war. He somehow makes it out alive, only for the monster to attack Japan two years later.

At this point, historically, the country was barely on its feet post the devastating war. As per the film’s plot, the looming threat of Godzilla’s impending arrival and the death he would bring with him does nothing to move the U.S. forces who refuse to come to Japan’s aid, leaving them to fend for themselves.

This is where the title comes from — Japan was already at zero after the Second World War, unable to make a speedy recovery. The raging attack of Godzilla when the country was already crumbling only set it back further, to “minus one” as it gears up its almost non-existent resources to fight back. Koji Ueda, President of Toho International, explained in a chat with Forbes that the title signifies how it is “a new threat with Godzilla, bringing the country into the ‘minus.’”

After debuting in Japan on Nov. 3, 2023, Godzilla Minus One has finally been released in the U.S. but is only available in limited theaters.



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Friday, December 1, 2023

Latest Marvel News: ‘Aquaman 2’ could open to an unlucky $13 million more than ‘The Marvels’ as Chris Hemsworth gears up for a crossover with a rumored ‘Fantastic Four’ fave

Latest Marvel News: ‘Aquaman 2’ could open to an unlucky $13 million more than ‘The Marvels’ as Chris Hemsworth gears up for a crossover with a rumored ‘Fantastic Four’ fave

The Marvels, I would love to cut you a break, but the universe just ain’t having it.

Sadly, things just keep going from awful to atrocious for the MCU’s final film of the year, as it struggles to make any kind of impact at the box office. So to hear that DC’s incoming festive blockbuster could outperform it is not exactly the gift that Marvel was hoping to find under its Christmas tree.

Elsewhere, fresh off renewed Thor 5 speculation, Chris Hemsworth is all set to team up with everyone’s new favorite rumored Fantastic Four cast member next spring. Just not in the way you’re maybe expecting…

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom might just gain a royal victory of The Marvels over its Christmas opening weekend

aquaman and the lost kingdom
Image via Warner Bros.

If there’s been one constant in the sea of ever-changing predictions about 2023’s superhero offerings, it’s that Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom was going to flop. Coming out over a full year after James Gunn’s rebooted DCU was announced, rendering it entirely obsolete, not to mention existing in the shadow of everything to do with Amber Heard, Aquaman 2 clearly had no hope of swimming to the surface.

And yet, as per Deadline, the latest box office projections indicate it could open to a chunkier financial haul than The Marvels. The Lost Kingdom is being pitched somewhere in the $50-60 million range, which isn’t exceptional, but it indicates it could rise above the disappointing $47 million haul of The Marvels. It’s the promise of more from that octopus drummer, isn’t it? He’s the real star power here.

Tom Holland sure sounds like he’s very reluctant to make Spider-Man 4

Tom Holland's Peter Parker tears up on board Happy Hogan's plane in Spider-Man: Far From Home
Image via Marvel Studios

To continue the Marvel/DC crossover theme, it doesn’t take a detective of Batman’s caliber to deduce that Tom Holland has had cold feet on doing more Spider-Man movies for a long time now. Well, he’s finally come out and detailed his position on what it would take to get him back for Spider-Man 4, and it sounds like he’s really taking Marvel and Sony to task.

Holland has stressed that, although he’s “actively engaging in conversations” with the studios about Spidey 4, he will only sign on if “a way to do justice to the character” can be found. “I won’t make another one for the sake of making another one,” is what he said, which presumably left a lot of studio execs having neurological breakdowns like robots from 1950s sci-fi and screaming “does not compute!” as smoke poured out their ears.

Chris Hemsworth and potential Silver Surfer Anya Taylor-Joy jump ship to another franchise

Chris Hemsworth wears a prosthetic nose as Dementus in 'Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga'
Screenshot via Warner Bros. Pictures

Is Thor 5 happening? Is Anya Taylor-Joy really our female Silver Surfer? Who knows, but what we can say is that the two stars are set to lead Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. The long-awaited prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road just dropped its first trailer, and it promises that this one is set to be the action highlight of the year, much like its predecessor was back in 2015. Although whether we’ll be able to enjoy the hi-octane visuals without getting too distracted by Hemsworth’s artificial schnoz remains to be seen. It steals the screen so much in the trailer that it’s easy to imagine Marvel has already hired it for Fantastic Four to play Taylor-Joy’s cosmic surfboard.



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‘Thanksgiving 2’ horror sequel release window

‘Thanksgiving 2’ horror sequel release window

Without a doubt, Eli Roth struck cinematic gold and unfolded a variety of blood-splattered kills and violence in passion project Thanksgiving. And after speculation swirled around the possibility of the slasher spectacle receiving an anticipated sequel, it looks like those dreams have become a reality.

As confirmed earlier this week, Roth is already working on a follow-up for the blood-caked horror movie just a few short weeks after it premiered in theaters. In its theatrical run, Thanksgiving has grossed $30 million worldwide against a $15 million budget, so it’s not too difficult to understand why Sony’s TriStar Pictures would want to pull the trigger on an eyebrow-raising second entry.

As horror fanatics and the spooky community begin to speculate which stars and cast could be attached to the upcoming sequel, Roth himself that he and scriptwriter Jeff Rendell will once again be collaborating on the film. And yes, Roth even insisted that the John Carver killer will be back — and one can only hope the killer seeks some sort of revenge.

What is the release date window for Thanksgiving 2?

Image via TriStar Pictures

Now that we know Thanksgiving 2 is officially happening, horrorhounds are wondering when exactly the movie will be released. As of right now, the slasher follow-up is scheduled to release at some point in 2025 — and perhaps around Thanksgiving time once again.

No official release date or plot information has been revealed at the time of this writing, of course, but it will be interesting to see which direction Roth takes the story — and if the previous John Carver killer will make a return for the second outing.



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The 15 best ‘Home Alone’ quotes

The 15 best ‘Home Alone’ quotes

If you’re like the rest of us, then you’re probably feeling just as old the minute you found out Home Alone turned 33-years-old this year. As utterly captivating and hilariously entertaining as the festive film truly is, there’s simply no denying that one specific element from the movie sticks out from the rest — and that’s the film’s endless assortment of quotes.

For us passionate film buffs, watching a movie and being able to recite each quote along with our friends and family is often the greatest joy in watching along with others. For some, it’s a self-proclaimed past-time that is passed down through generations, with moviegoers everywhere learning lines of dialogue from movies and repeating them in all situations. That being said, the 1990 Christmas classic is undoubtedly chock-full of some of the most memorable quotes in cinematic history. 

So, let’s dive in and showcase the 15 best quotes from Home Alone, ya filthy animals.

Image via 20th Century Fox

“Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?”

I mean, is this not a logical question? With his sleigh working overtime all night and loaded with a variety of gifts, who knows what Santa could be hiding in those red sacks?! Logical or not, it’s undoubtedly one of the film’s best quotes.

“Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.”

You can always count on Kevin’s older brother Buzz to be a complete brown-noser who somehow wins over his parents every time with some fabricated apology or excuse. So when the time comes for Buzz and Kevin to fully apologize to the family for starting a brawl, Buzz delivers a phony apology while calling Kevin a “trout sniffer” under his breath. Simply iconic.

“Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”

Plenty of ridiculous stunts and homemade pranks stopped burglars Harry and Marv in their path, but no other encounter is as funny as when the two of them meet up after successfully breaking into the McCallister home. Upon Marv asking Harry why he took his shoes off, Marv immediately asks why Harry is dressed like a chicken — both instances which were caused by Kevin’s booby traps.

“I made my family disappear.”

For those familiar with the insanity in Home Alone, this quote from Kevin officially marks his brief celebration upon realizing that his family is nowhere to be found. Of course, the celebration is incredibly short-lived when the burglars start sniffing around, but the small fraction of freedom is still entertaining to witness.

“Have a good trip, bring me back something French!”

OK, admittedly, this is one of my favorite quotes from the movie. While this line is essentially meaningless and echoed by a minor side character, the delivery is comedic gold and leaves me in stitches every time. Imagine your nosy, kid neighbor going through your bag and annoying the airport van drivers only to insist you bring him something back from your vacation. Just hilarious.

Image via 20th Century Fox

“I just want my family back.”

As hilarious as Home Alone is for the wacky pranks and gut-busting comedy, some of its greatest moments occur when emotion and familial importance is showcased. After Kevin experiences time alone without his family around, he begins to miss his loud house and overbearing family, even if they get on his nerves sometimes. So when he encounters a fake Santa, he asks if the real Santa Claus can bring his family back.

“Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi!”

It’s certainly no secret that Kevin despised his family on most occasions, although few seemed to ruffle his feathers as badly as his younger cousin Fuller. This line of dialogue happens when the camera pans to Fuller as he quickly gulps down an entire can of Pepsi. And seeing as he’s already known as a bedwetter, that doesn’t leave Kevin feeling too thrilled about sharing a bed with him.

“You’re what the French call les incompetents.”

Who doesn’t appreciate a good ole’ fashion French lesson? As the entire McCallister family are scattered around the house trying to pack before their huge trip to Paris, Kevin finds himself roaming around in the hopes that somebody will pack his suitcase for him, leading his sister Linnie to flat out insist that Kevin is incompetent. It’s a quote that my family personally echoes every year when we watch.

“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!”

Once again, when you’ve got a villain-esque brother like Buzz in your life, who needs actual enemies? After realizing that Fuller is downing cans of Pepsi left and right, Kevin desperately tries to avoid sharing a bed with him by asking Buzz if he can sleep in his room for the night, leading Buzz to completely crush that idea in an instant.

“This is my house. I have to defend it.”

Would it be corny to state that this piece of dialogue always gives me chills? Oh well, it’s the truth. Once Kevin exits church and realizes that Marv and Harry plan on targeting his house that night, Kevin unapologetically and passionately insists that since he’s the man of the house for the time being, it’s his job to defend his family home and keep their property safe. In my opinion, it’s truly a sign of strong character development in Kevin.

Image via 20th Century Fox

“You’re never too old to be afraid.”

Leave it to the McCallister’s neighbor to bestow a golden token of wisdom. In the beginning of the movie, Buzz and Kevin are convinced that their neighbor Marley is a serial killer, although Kevin comes to learn that he’s actually a sweet, reserved, wise older gentleman who cares for his granddaughter and offers necessary help to Kevin when he’s captured by Harry and Marv.

“Look what you did, you little jerk.”

Nobody ever said Uncle Frank was very kind, and that fact undoubtedly shows when Frank outright calls his nephew a “little jerk” in front of the entire family after getting into a scuffle with Buzz. Now, I’m not saying Kevin was right in causing an entire meltdown and spilling milk and soda all over the passports, but Buzz also didn’t need to eat the last slice of cheese pizza, and Frank definitely didn’t need to pick on a literal child.

“Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!”

Yep, we all know this scene extremely well — it’s when Kevin barges into Buzz’s room while he’s gone and starts rifling through his personal belongings. Amidst finding money and a BB gun, Kevin comes across a picture of Buzz’s “girlfriend” — which is actually the art director’s son dressed in female clothing. It’s hard to not place this quote at the top of the list, seeing as it’s so unbelievably hilarious.

“KEVIN!”

This one should hardly come as a surprise, honestly, seeing as this is arguably one of the greatest quotes from the movie. Upon realizing that her youngest son Kevin has been left at home while the rest of the family is on a plane to Paris, Kevin’s mom shouts in agony on the airplane the minute she comprehends the situation. It’s certainly a moment that would happen to many mothers as they realize their baby is far away from them.

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”

Was anybody else as surprised as I was when I learned that the movie playing in Home Alone isn’t actually a real film? To this day, that very fact leaves me dumbfounded, especially since this magical line of dialogue is echoed during a memorable scene in the faux movie. The “filthy animal” line is recurring throughout the first two Home Alone movies, which honestly makes this line that much better and easily the best quote from the original Christmas classic.



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The Young Avengers are threatening to assemble without 2 next-gen heroes who’ve been hiding in plain sight in the MCU for almost 10 years

The Young Avengers are threatening to assemble without 2 next-gen heroes who’ve been hiding in plain sight in the MCU for almost 10 years

One good thing you can’t take away from The Marvels? It’s finally got the ball rolling on the Young Avengers, with Iman Vellani’s Kamala Khan now on a mission to round up the “Kid Avengers” (even if nearly all of them are old enough to drink).

The Marvel fandom has been (not-so)patiently waiting for this day for ages now, probably ever since Avengers: Endgame wrapped up the OG Avengers’ storyline back in 2019. In actual fact, though, the next generation of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes has been teased since long before that — 2014, to be exact. It’s just that we didn’t know it at the time.

To be specific, the first children of the Avengers introduced into the franchise occurred in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Well, at least — to quote Obi-Wan Kenobi — from a certain point of view…

Captain America and Peggy Carter’s kids have (allegedly) been hanging around the MCU for decades

Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter - MCU
Image via Marvel Studios

A memorable subplot in The Winter Soldier sees the unfrozen Steve Rogers discover that his wartime “best girl” Agent Peggy Carter eventually settled down with another man and had a family. The mystery of who Peggy’s husband was raged for several years there, until Endgame appeared to reveal the truth. Depending on which theory of time travel you subscribe to.

Yes, as you’ll recall, Steve goes back in time at the end of Endgame to live out a happy life in the 1940s with Peggy. According to writers Stephen McFeely and Christopher Markus, this is the culmination of a long-term plan they set up in Winter Soldier, with it being their intention that Steve was Peggy’s husband and the father of her unseen children all along. The only hitch? Directors the Russo brothers claim Steve going back created a new timeline, meaning he can’t be Peggy’s other half in the prime universe.

If, for the sake of argument, we choose Markus and McFeely’s authorial intention as the canon explanation for a moment (the fact that Old Man Steve is sitting there by that lake certainly backs up their interpretation), this means that Steve and Peggy’s son and daughter have existed in the MCU for decades. And yet these two influential and potentially powerful individuals have stayed entirely out of the limelight.

How could Steve Rogers’ son and daughter still come into play in the MCU?

captain carter
Image via Marvel Studios

Needless to say, Steve and Peggy Junior would obviously be too old to join the Young Avengers as of the 2020s, as they were likely born in the 1950s or perhaps ’60s. However, the existence of this next generation of the Rogers-Carter clan — even in any timeline, not necessarily the 616 one, given this is the Multiverse Saga — is surely too huge to ignore forever.

For starters, you would think that the siblings would have some kind of important career in S.H.I.E.L.D., as per their mother being the organization’s co-founder, and share their parents’ thirst for do-gooding and saving the world. What’s more, you would heavily suspect that Steve’s Super-Soldier physiognomy would pass down to his kids, meaning they may possess at least a fraction of his super-strength and longevity.

One possible way for the Rogers children to crossover with the Young Avengers would be for them to act as the beneficiaries of the team, serving as the Nick Fury or Tony Stark for the gang; the adult mentors that take the adolescent heroes under their wing and fund their quest to become a superhero organization. They may even have kids of their own, Steve and Peggy’s grandkids, who could get involved.

As Marvel looks to increase the nostalgia for the Infinity Saga, in order to win back wayward viewers, introducing the kids of Captain America and Captain Carter could be a star-spangled plan for success.



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Thursday, November 30, 2023

How historically accurate is Ridley Scott’s ‘Napoleon?’

How historically accurate is Ridley Scott’s ‘Napoleon?’

Critics are having a field day with Napoleon, and bringing the brunt of their analytical prowess to bear on Ridley Scott and Joaquin Phoenix’s new creation. It seems that when taken at face value, nothing is quite as riveting as reading the history of the late 17th and 18th centuries, but all the excitement of real-life events can’t keep up with the requirements of the cinematic medium, culminating in yet another historical Ridley Scott rollercoaster where the natural filmmaking inclination for dramatization overpowers the need for authenticity.

And sure, when you look at Scott’s back catalogue, none of those earlier movies adhered to real history, whether it be Gladiator’s the Roman Empire or Robin Hood dealing with the mythic figure of Sherwood Forest. On the flip side, many cinemagoers seem to believe that a historical movie centering around the life of a real person — and one as prominent as Napoleon — should actually take care not to misrepresent the reality of what went down. At least not too much.

So, whether you find yourself on the side of Ridley Scott admirers, or those historians currently lambasting his latest undertaking, we’ve decided to break down everything you need to know about Napoleon and its truthfulness to history, starting with the man himself.

Is Joaquin Phoenix’s Napoleon true to the real generalissimo?

The Emperor Napoleon in His Study at the Tuileries by Jacques-Louis David

The first thing historians and those with a keen interest in Napoleon Bonaparte’s life will realize about Ridley Scott’s film is the eccentric portrayal of the titular character by Joaquin Phoenix. While the real-world Napoleon was said to be cunning, witty, brilliant, and self-confident, the film version can come off as unsettlingly erratic.

There’s this great debate about where you could rank Napoleon in the list of history’s most vicious killers. Some make Napoleon out to be a great tyrant. Many even compare him to Hitler. But however one approaches the problem of the millions of people he killed, inadvertently or otherwise, during his ambitious political career, one shouldn’t forget that Napoleon was also a great purveyor of the Enlightenment.

After taking power and becoming the so-called “First Consul” of the newly instated republic, Napoleon used his absolute power to bring about a lot of non-military amendments, including the establishment of the Bank of France and the Civil Code of the French, which saved the country from a period of impoverishment and essentially put an end to the aftershocks of the Reign of Terror. (Though the latter happened when Napoleon had taken the crown and proclaimed himself Emperor.)

Ridley Scott’s movie only focuses on Napoleon’s military achievements, which undermines many major aspects of his character. When watching the new flick, it’s not so difficult to draw up the same misguided comparisons to Hitler, but while Napoleon was certainly ambitious and egotistic, he certainly didn’t kill as many people as Hitler did, in a bloodthirsty and genocidal rampage across Europe.

Last but not least, a reason for Napoleon’s unparalleled fame was the mind-numbing scope of his achievements at such a young age. Due to the general’s military genius and unmatched charisma, he managed to become the leader of the French armies and ultimately the de facto ruler of the entire nation by the age of 30. Unfortunately, Joaquin Phoenix was 47 when Ridley Scott began principal photography on Napoleon, so he doesn’t quite embody that zealous youth. This also complicates the matter of his wife Joséphine de Beauharnais, which is a whole different can of worms.

Is Joséphine depicted accurately?

Vanessa Kirby in Ridley Scott's 'Napoleon'
via Columbia Pictures

Joséphine’s portrayal is perhaps the most truthful out of all the characters who appear in this film. Vanessa Kirby does a wonderful job of portraying the mistress-turned-empress and perfectly captures her worldly demeanor. It’s also accurate that she cheated on Napoleon, but unlike what we see in the movie, the general didn’t leave his campaign in Egypt to rush back home and confront the scandal.

Vanessa Kirby is more than 10 years younger than Phoenix, so watching the two of them as Napoleon and Joséphine is almost like gazing into an alternate dimension where the roles have been reversed. The fact that Vanessa is much younger-looking doesn’t do any favors to her dominant role in that relationship, either.

Lastly, it should be noted that Napoleon didn’t slap Joséphine during their divorce. As historian Michael Broers explains it in blunt terms during an interview with Time, “It did not happen. Secondly, it’s out of character. He would never do a thing like that.”

The real world Joséphine was said to be ambitious and even power-hungry, attaching herself to powerful men to gain status. Napoleon, on the other hand, was completely besotted with her, so when the two realized that she couldn’t get with child, the Emperor had no choice but to let her go. One needn’t look any further than Napoleon’s alleged last words — “France, the Army, the Head of the Army, Joséphine” — to realize that he never stopped loving his former wife.

That said, Napoleon doesn’t escape Elba after hearing about Joséphine’s ailment, like in the movie. He learned about her death when still in exile, driving him to seclusion for a while.

Did Napoleon fire on the pyramids?

Napoleon covering his little ears in the desert
Image via Sony Pictures

Nothing, no matter how absurd and unrealistic, will stop a filmmaker from shooting a scene he deems to be, so to speak, cool. The controversial pyramids scene in Napoleon unfortunately follows the same philosophy. As mentioned above, Napoleon didn’t leave Egypt because of Joséphine, but due to supply problems, and he almost certainly didn’t shoot at the Pyramids, being himself a patron of arts and history.

Besides, as historian Dan Snow explained after watching the movie’s trailer, it would be physically improbable, if not downright impossible, for those cannons to hit the top of the pyramids.

Did Napoleon really say that line to the British about their boats?

Joaquin Phoenix as Napoleon Bonaparte in 'Napoleon'
Photo via Apple Studios

While Napoleon had ambitions to invade Britain and eventually conquer it, his defeat at the Battle of Trafalgar proved that there was no defeating the royal navy. As for the famous movie line, where Napoleon says to the British ambassador, “You think you’re so tough because you have boats,” well, those were not his exact words, but according to Broers, he said something very similar to that, and it is indeed based on a true encounter with the British spymaster William Wickham.

Marie Antoinette’s execution, the unexpected cannonball scene, and the meeting with the Duke of Wellington

Joaquin Phoenix as Napoleon Bonaparte
Image via Sony Pictures/Apple TV+

Napoleon didn’t bear witness to Marie Antoinette’s execution, because at the time, he was garrisoned somewhere in the south. Napoleon did, however, see the king and his queen being thrown into jail in 1792, and that must have impacted him greatly. Ridley Scott is combining these two elements, and we’re willing to let it slide.

Another scene in Napoleon shows the titular protagonist reaching a hand inside his dead horse to retrieve the cannonball that killed him. According to Scott’s version, this was during the Siege of Toulon, which marked Napoleon’s first major military victory through unconventional strategy, ultimately contributing to his rise to fame and influence. Well, even if it’s true that Napoleon burned through a number of horses during his military campaigns, there’s no evidence for this gesture. And while the general sustained a leg injury from a nearby cannonball explosion on that fateful night, he pushed on and led his men to victory.

Ultimately, it should be noted that unlike the movie version, Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington never met after the Battle of Waterloo. Napoleon lost Waterloo due to strategic errors, and the tens of thousands of Prussian reinforcements that came to Wellington’s aid. Together, they dealt the ambitious Emperor of France his final defeat.

Napoleon spent his remaining days in exile on an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The movie depicts him writing his memoirs, known as Mémoires de Napoléon, which is in keeping with real history.

What does Ridley Scott have to say about these inaccuracies?

Ridley Scott directing 'The Last Duel'
Photo via 20th Century Studios

Scott doesn’t seem to care about all of these historical inaccuracies. When confronted by these critiques from historians and French reviewers, this is what the Alien director told The Times.

“Like all history, it’s been reported. Napoleon dies, then, 10 years later, someone writes a book,” he explained. “Then someone takes that book and writes another book and so, 400 years later there’s a lot of imagination.“When I have issues with historians, I ask: ‘Excuse me, mate, were you there? No? Well, shut the f**k up then.'”

We’re not sure if history works quite like that, as Andrew Roberts explains in a recent chat with Sky News. But I guess when all is said and done, this was Ridley Scott’s movie, and it would’ve reflected, one way or another, his particular creative vision for the character.



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