Thursday, August 31, 2023

Latest Disney News: Disney’s Pandora’s box hid a $200M film that scraped $67M as profit as a billionaire tycoon bests Disney Plus at its own game

Latest Disney News: Disney’s Pandora’s box hid a $200M film that scraped $67M as profit as a billionaire tycoon bests Disney Plus at its own game

For months now, 2023 has been described as Disney’s cursed year. While the next four months seem to have no plans of relinquishing that title, turns out the streak of bad luck — at least financially — kickstarted rather early on for the Mouse.

But, as the company’s fresh loss to a billionaire businessman points out, this year has hardly done Disney any favors as far as its theatrical and streaming ventures are concerned. Tragically, August has ended with the company also losing one of its great talents and “a beloved member” of two of its famous franchises.

A new report claims one of Disney’s controversial films in the last few years only made a profit of $67 million

Black Widow
Photo via Marvel Studios

In terms of box office bombs, Disney has been having a gala lately. But its Marvel ventures have always been the reliable winners… which is far from reality if a new Forbes report and its shocking claims are taken into account. 

Black Widow, which came out in the middle of the COVID pandemic that severely hit the cinema theaters, was said to have made $379.8 million. At the time, it was revealed that the said gross included $67 million earned from its controversial simultaneous release on Disney Plus along with its box office haul. But as per the new report, which states its findings rely on “recently released filings” by Disney, the film’s total profit — via streaming plus theatrical release — was just $67 million. 

To that, if we add the $40 million Disney paid to Scarlett Johnson in the wake of her lawsuit against them, it would see Black Widow losing its title as one of Disney’s most successful films in the pandemic era and getting stuck with the label of being one of its biggest losses.

Jamie Christopher, executive producer of Fantastic Four and a part of many Marvel and Star Wars films, dies at 52

Christopher, who frequently worked with the likes of Rian Johnson and James Gunn as well as been a part of Marvel and Star Wars films (Guardians of the Galaxy, Age of Ultron, Star Wars: The Last Jedi) as an assistant director (AD), has passed away at the age of 52 due to heart complications. As revealed by Marvel Studios’ co-presidents, Kevin Feige and Lous Esposito, in their statement (via Variety), Christopher was set to be one of Fantastic Four’s executive producers, after joining Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness in a similar capacity due to his “hard work and diligence.”

“Jamie was a beloved member of our Marvel Studios family, and he will be dearly missed.”

Rian Johnson, James Gunn, and Mark Hamill have also expressed their condolences to his family and lamented about losing a talented personality like Christopher who was also an AD on all eight Harry Potter films.

Indian tycoon, Mukesh Ambani, pulls the rug from under Disney’s specific streaming plans

Mukesh Ambani
Photo by Prodip Guha/Getty Images

In a recent update, Viacom18 (owned by Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani) has nabbed the media rights to stream and televise India’s cricket team’s international and domestic matches from Disney by making a bid of $729.41 million. As per the new deal, Ambani holds the rights to air the games from September 2023 to March 2028.



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You can now find love on Netflix with its first interactive rom-com

Fans of romantic comedies who enjoy second-guessing the protagonist’s ultimate choice now only have themselves to blame for how things turn out: Netflix’s first interactive rom-com, Choose Love, is officially streaming on the platform.

The film focuses on Cami (Laura Marano), a recording engineer in a perfectly fine relationship with her boyfriend Paul (Scott Michael Foster), but she feels like something is missing from her life. Passion? You be the judge. No, really.

She might stay with Paul. Or maybe she’ll get back with her old flame, Jack (Jordi Webber). Perhaps she’s discovering feelings for Rex (Avan Jogia), the famous musician. Beyond the buffet of boys in her life, Cami also might dream of becoming a singer instead of staying behind the scenes.

There are just so many options…and so many overlit rooms. Check out the trailer:

Judging from the trailer, viewers have myriad choices throughout the narrative, including whether Cami kisses her old flame or is honest about hating the rock star’s new track. It looks like decent fun if you’re into convoluted romances — but it does call into question whether a story can have a real ending if it’s all up to the audience.

How can we even tell what a story is trying to say about its themes if there are multiple resolutions? (Clue doesn’t count — it wasn’t interactive, and there was only one real ending.) Netflix has experimented with this format before, and no one knew how to feel about it then, either. How exactly do we judge whether Choose Love is good if its biggest decisions are left in the hands of people who are also on TikTok and doing crosswords?

Perhaps the interactive entertainment vertical only needs to prove that something is fun rather than “a good story.” That strikes us as a little sad, but we can’t always play Dragon’s Lair to get our choose-your-own-adventure fix.

Plus, if Choose Love sucks, we can also decide to turn on Is It Cake? instead. That show has only two options, thankfully.



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‘Kushi’ movie release date, cast, and plot

Consider how great it is that films from India are finally gaining legitimate media coverage these days — acquiring awards, accolades, and prestige at a pace never before seen in world cinema. Audiences read subtitles now. Although, they’ve always been worth it.

One such worthwhile film, from one such worthwhile filmmaker, is the Indian Telugu-language rom-com Kushi, written and directed by Shiva Nirvana.

When is it coming out? Who’s in it? What’s it going to be about? I’m sure you mind is racing, and to that end, I’m here to give you all the information you would ever need surrounding Kushi.

When is Kushi coming out?

Thankfully, we won’t have to wait much longer to finally check out this upcoming romp, and if the trailer didn’t give anything away — fans can expect the film to release in theaters on September 1.

Who is starring in Kushi?

Starring Vijay Deverakonda, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Sachin Khedekar, Saranya Ponvannan, Murali Sharma, and Lakshmi, this tale of two worlds is primed with all sorts of industry heavyweights.

They’re who are bound to be brining some incredible perfomances to the table throughout.

What is the plot of Kushi?

Kushi follows a love story between an army officer and rural girl, set in the Jammu and Kashmir mountains. The young couple, coming from different communities, attempt to rectify their differences and bring their families together as they fall in love — while planning their marriage, and life after.

Well, there you have it. All the info you would ever need when it comes to Kushi. Check it out in theaters, starting tomorrow, and have a blast.



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Every Batman movie villain, ranked

Today I’m going to try my hand at ranking every Batman movie villain ever seen on the silver screen — but I’m not going to include any villains from animated adventures. I know that might upset some of you, but frankly, if I added that gallery of ne’er-do-wells to my list, this article would be the longest written piece of material in human history.

Also, you aren’t going to see some live-action bad guys that have made their crossovers on a technicality. Which means… No Suicide Squad, no Justice League (or Batman v Superman), and no Joaquin Phoenix. Again, apologies, but this whole ordeal is long enough as it is.

What I’m choosing to focus on here are the handful of dedicated Batman films surroduing Bruce Wayne’s ongoing fight against evil. Plain old Batman movies. Meaning you won’t be seeing any mafia members or petty thieves on here either. Just the heavy hitters. Literally.

So, without further ado, let’s dig in.

22. Catwoman – The Batman

First up, our latest iteration of Catwoman — Zoë Kravitz’s Selina Kyle. Now, I love this character, and placing her at the very bottom of this list was no easy feat.

Here’s the issue; The Batman never really presents its Catwoman as a villain outright, and only ever plays on her anti-hero status. She exists much more as a love interest than as a true-blue villain, which is totally fine, but it means that this particular cat comes without most of her claws.

21. Talia al Ghul – The Dark Knight Rises

I’ll go on record to say that I do like Talia al Ghul — Marion Cotillard does a lot with her role in The Dark Knight Rises — but Talia’s addition to this massive cast of heroes and villains never did much for me.

It’s pretty forgettable.

She’s introduced in the trilogy’s epic finale, teased as a former romantic interest, and has a plan started by her late father, Ra (who we’ll see later on). Yes it’s all very poetic, but her absence from the second film means the emotional gravitas Nolan was going for doesn’t totally land.

20. Catwoman – The Dark Knight Rises

Hatahway’s take on Selina Kyle in Rises is fantastic. Full stop. But, again, here’s the issue… She’s not really a villain. Yes, she steals a few things, runs away here and there, and doesn’t totally trust our beloved Batman / Bruce Wayne — but all in all? She’s never a bad guy.

This Catwoman, like the one above, is more of a romantic interest. And again, there’s nothing wrong with that, but her penchant for villainy is pretty darn low.

19. Bane – Batman and Robin

I’m not going to spend a lot of time here. Batman and Robin isn’t that good, and neither is the Bane it brings to the table. He’s a giant, hulking brute that sort of mumbles for a few minutes and tosses everyone around.

Even in a movie as whimsical as this one, it just doesn’t work. At all.

18. Poison Ivy – Batman and Robin

Uma Thurman swung for the fences here, and that needs to be recognized. She’s over the top and cheesy, but it plays in a movie as disjointed as Batman and Robin.

What’s wrong with this Ivy comes by way of her larger characterizations, and as an audience — because things are so wacky — we never get to justify or emotionally buy in to some of her evil-doings.

17. The Riddler – Batman 66

Riddle me this, riddle me that. This Batman 66 version of The Riddler remains a template Batman actors are still pulling from to this day. The laugh, the smile — it all works, kind of.

Actor Frank Gorshin has a lot to offer, even if his performance was a bit one-note-y (hey, it was the 60s), but sadly can’t compete against all the other great characters in this film and beyond.

16. Two-Face – Batman Forever

So here’s the deal. Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face is an inspired choice. Truly. The reason he’s so high up on my list is entirely because Jones was never really a fan of Batman Forever in the first place.

Now to be fair, neither was I. This movie wasn’t that good, as is the case with some of the earlier Bat flicks. But Tommy Lee Jones was outspokenly upset by his time on-screen, and for that — he gets the 16 spot.

15. Catwoman – Batman 66

The best part about this Catwoman is that she’s the first cat that actually acts as a villain. Hurray! Moreover, in Batman 66, Julie Newmar’s portrayal treats the character like a seasoned veteran. As it should.

The Catwoman here is plotting, planning, and strong as hell. She speaks with a command few Batman villains (male, female, or otherwise) possess, and remains captivating from start to finish. If there weren’t so many other fantastic performances ahead, she would have been placed much, much higher.

14. The Riddler – Batman Forever

I’m sure you were wondering when Jim Carrey would show up to this party. Well, here he is. Carrey’s Edward Nygma is a ton of fun to watch, and the character’s transformation into The Riddler is pulled off beautifully. Yes, he’s wacky, but against Val Kilmer’s stoic portrayal of Batman, Carrey gets the job done.

13. Bane – The Dark Knight Rises

This might be where I lose you. Easily the hottest take on my list, Bane from The Dark Knight Rises is… Meh. Sorry, I’m not sorry.

“I was born in the shadows,” Yada-yada, punch-punch, fight-fight. Look, I like this Bane. Batman truly meets his match here. Tom Hardy sizzles throughout. His character’s demise though? Not so much.

Bane gets run over. Like roadkill. That’s how he dies. After all the monologuing and theatrics, he gets mowed down without a second look, and that’s unforgivable.

12. Mr. Freeze – Batman and Robin

Another one some of you may not agree with. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze. Is it over the top? Yes. Is it horribly overacted ? Of course it is, but his puns are legendary and that costume is absolutely iconic.

Not to mention the fact that Dr. Victor Fries may have one of the most compelling character motivations of any Batman villain ever created. In trying to save his wife, a kind man slowly becomes a monster she would never approve of. For my money, and this is just a guess but — I think Mr. Freeze could be the main villain in Matt Reeves’ upcoming sequel to The Batman. But don’t quote me on that. (Just kidding, you totally can.)

11. Scarecrow – Batman: Begins

A main antagonist, Cillian Murphy’s Scarecrow is the one and only-live action version of this unforgettable Batman baddie. And he does a bang-up job. Murphy was just strange enough to unsettle an entire generation of movie goers with his take on Scarecrow, and we should all be thanking him for it.

That said, it isn’t like this Scarecrow really does all that much. He’s sort of one-dimensional when it comes to his larger scheme, and for that, he sits a little higher than anyone might have expected. Including me.

10. Ra’s al Ghul – Batman: Begins

Although small in screen time, Liam Neeson’s stint as Ra’s al Ghul is downright dastardly. Having Ra’s train Bruce Wayne only for the two to be at odds later on in the film is what makes Batman: Begins so powerful. It’s master and apprentice, student and teacher. Ra’s even dies at peace with his evil. One word. Badass.

9. The Penguin – Batman 66

Burgess Meredith as The Penguin is quite possibly the best bit about Batman 66. He’s got it all down, and quacks his way into my top 10 because of that sheer commitment.

Perpetually smoking, complete with his ridiculously large prosthetic nose, this Penguin comes to play.

8. The Riddler – The Batman

The most recent of Batman villains, this Riddler is perhaps the most twisted iteration of the character — played beautifully by Paul Dano.

Gritty, determined, and tons of twisted fun, his Riddler feels like a guy who could actually exist in our very real world. Which is about the best — and scariest — compliment I can give him.

7. Two-Face – The Dark Knight

Ouch. Talk about a bad hair day. Two-Face and The Dark Knight go together like peanut butter and jelly, with this more modern version of the character being a gorgeous example for the duality of man.

Entangling Bruce, Harvey, Rachel, and The Joker together in a massive mortality play is exactly why The Dark Knight has stood the test of time. Plus, Aaron Eckhart rocks.

6. The Penguin – The Batman

This new Penguin is the most believable out of the bird-themed villains we’ve seen. Colin Farrell is nearly unrecognizable in the role, with a stellar makeup, and gives us a grounded version of a Batman villain that — let’s be honest — is pretty ridiculous conceptually.

Folks, normally he’s a quacking-penguin person. Be thankful this version isn’t.

5. The Joker – Batman 66

Say what you will about Caesar Romeo’s turn as The Clown Prince of Crime, but this first adaptation of the Joker from script to screen is an archetype that all others are built on.

The makeup. The laugh. The charisma. It’s all here, albeit in an early form, and it sings. It might not be as emotionally resonate as some of the later Jokers on this list, but it’s the first, and one. worth remembering.

4. The Penguin – Batman Returns

Speaking of quaking penguin people, who could forget Danny DeVito’s turn as the pointy-nosed criminal.

His whole plan is to drown every first born son in Gotham City. Dark is an understatement. This Penguin isn’t even entirely human, which is what makes him so great. Or horrible, depending on how you look at it.

3. Catwoman – Batman Returns

Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman strikes a twisted balance between seduction and insanity, embracing femininity and trampling all over anyone who gets in her way.

This undead-ish Selina Kyle is presented as a person wrapped in unpredictability, which made her a serious issue for Batman throughout Batman Returns. In short, she’s perfect.

2. The Joker – Batman

These next two I won’t even spend a ton of time talking about, you already knew when you started reading that this was how things were going to end. Jack Nicholson’s Joker is, was, and will always be iconic.

There’s honestly nothing else to say. Nicholson brings a level of suave charm to the role that other Batman villains don’t even come close to emulating, and imbues this Joker with an unhinged style that keeps us on our toes until the very end. It’s poetry in motion. For a second, you really think he might beat Batman.

1. The Joker – The Dark Knight

Here it is. Everyone’s favorite agent of chaos. Heath Ledger’s Joker. Not a chink in the armor, this isn’t just a villain that causes Batman to grapple with his worldview — he causes us to do the same. What’s right? What’s wrong? How do we embrace absurdity? Is truth ever objective?

This Joker serves as a singularity, an example that all other cinematic Batman characters are compared to. Any hero is only ever as good as their villain, and this Joker outdoes itself.

Well, there you have it. Every live-action Batman villain ranked, for now. This was a long one — so go outside and touch some grass, eat a churro, do whatever you can to stay sane. You wouldn’t want to wind up like one of these folks.



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These are WGTC’s picks for the best games of 2023 (so far)

It could be as simple as the stars aligning, or it could be a result of shifting release dates due to COVID-19 development hurdles, but 2023 has been a standout year for games — and there are still many months to go. From indie darlings to juggernaut franchises, there’s been something for everyone, across all different platforms and consoles. With the holiday season around the corner — which usually heralds the arrival of a new Call of Duty and Assassin’s Creed — we thought we’d take the time to highlight some of the best games we’ve played this year.

Baldur’s Gate 3

I’ve had the privilege of playing a lot of games this year, but none of them come close to Baldur’s Gate 3. There is so much to love about this game, but what’s most impressive is the sheer freedom Larian Studios built into this playable novel. It mixes the choose-your-own-adventure format with some of the most well-written — and outrageously horny — companion characters of all time. You can turn into a wheel of cheese, talk with animals, absolutely obliterate enemies with fireballs, and fornicate with a Druid-turned-bear. Combat might not be real-time, but the innovative monsters and villains keep it interesting, and the beasties rarely repeat.

If that wasn’t reason enough to love it, then the seamless multiplayer should be. The adventure is just as fun with a friend — just make sure to keep those conversations private if you spend some one-on-one time with your dream follower. — Ash Martinez

Counter-Strike 2

I remember exactly where I was when Valve announced Counter-Strike 2: in a meeting about the game’s rival, Valorant. Riot Games may be the new kid on the block in the tactical shooter department, but Valve has fired back with what just might be the biggest multiplayer title of 2023. Counter-Strike 2 is a complete rework of the game’s current iteration, Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. Slated for summer 2023, CS2 promises a complete engine overhaul via Source 2, along with better graphics, a new physics system for smokes, and plenty of redesigns for some of Counter-Strike‘s most iconic maps. Under the hood, the game is also getting a needed netcode update for far more accurate server performance, so all that client-server lag that turns one-taps into missed shots will hopefully become a thing of the past.

There are plenty of signs that Valve is paying attention to Counter-Strike‘s rival, including a new ace UI design that lets players know if they’re about to kill all five of their opponents, as well as a vastly improved buy menu that mirrors Valorant‘s pre-round gun purchase UI design. But more than anything, it’s nice to see Valve adding a fresh coat of paint on one of PC gaming’s most important multiplayer franchises. Counter-Strike 2 is already available in its limited test release, but don’t hold your breath for early access. Valve is being incredibly selective on invites, which means most players won’t get a proper shot at CS2 until the game (hopefully) launches publicly later this year. — Ana Valens

Final Fantasy XVI

High-stakes politics and subterfuge, dragons, and adult themes in a high fantasy setting: no, this isn’t Game of Thrones, because it also has Chocobos. For those fiending for a Thrones-like gaming experience after the bitterly disappointing ending of HBO’s hit fantasy series, look no further than Final Fantasy XVIthe latest numbered entry in the long-running RPG franchise that was finally bold enough to grow up with its audience.

Besides its gorgeous visuals, enthralling narrative, and supremely satisfying combat system (coming from the mind of veteran Devil May Cry combat director Ryota Suzuki), arguably one of the best parts of Final Fantasy XVI is just how accessible it is. Its predecessor, Final Fantasy XV, loudly and proudly advertised itself as “a Final Fantasy for fans and first-timers,” but Creative Business Unit III’s decision to include “cheat rings” right from the outset means that the game can be enjoyed by both action RPG veterans and newbies alike.

While those who grew to love Final Fantasy for its turn-based combat in its earlier entries may be disappointed with the new direction the series has taken (you’ve always got Octopath Traveler and Bravely Default for that), the franchise’s storytelling remains as strong as ever, reaching heights expected of the team behind the MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV. Not to mention it blows more lackluster narratives in the series out of the water. Go in with an open mind and enjoy Clive’s revenge-fueled journey through Valisthea — chances are you’ll end up hooked. — Peter Kohnke

Gravity Circuit

I don’t consider myself the biggest fan of Mega Man, though I did love Mega Man 11, which came out a whopping five years ago, pre-COVID. Sadly, in the time that’s passed, Capcom seems to have relegated the Blue Bomber to the back shelf in favor of newer, service-ier offerings like Monster Hunter. Not to imply I don’t love Capcom’s output, but I have been itching for the kind of crunchy, skill-based platforming those games bring to the table. Luckily, Gravity Circuit is not only the best spiritual successor to Mega Man I’ve played — it’s my current pick for Indie Game of the Year.

Gravity Circuit is like if you took away Mega Man’s guns and gave him a grappling hook and a mastery of mixed martial arts. Protagonist Kai fights with his fists to defeat a plethora of robot bosses with excellently-themed levels with their own flavors, enemies, and palettes. The endless variety of input-based special moves and upgrade chips make repeat playthroughs a delight, and the hefty melee-centric combat melds with an excellent soundtrack to really get the blood pumping.

Sometimes, it’s enough to do your own thing really, really well rather than innovate on a genre (as a fan of boomer shooters, I should know). And that’s just what Gravity Circuit does — it’s a rock-solid homage to the best-of-the-best SNES platformers with its own modern flavor, and it deserves to be recognized for more than its influences. — David Morgan

Hi-Fi Rush

Inevitably, I fear that Hi-Fi Rush will suffer from “2023 Gaming Glut Syndrome” where any smaller game that releases this year will be crushed by the likes of Tears of the KingdomResident Evil 4 RemakeFinal Fantasy XVISpider-Man 2 — the list of well-funded and highly-reviewed “AAA” games we’ve already been graced with is staggering. But for my money, Hi-Fi Rush kicked 2023 off to a rockin’ start. When it was released out of nowhere in January, everyone lost their minds. “The developers responsible for The Evil Within made an action-rhythm game?! What?!” And, as an added cherry on top, it was genuinely one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had with a game in recent memory.

The visuals? Full of marvelous, vibrant colors bolstered by a rhythmic, lively world moving in harmony with the adrenaline-fueled soundtrack. The gameplay? An action-oriented smorgasbord that combines Bayonetta and Jet Set Radio, and even has a few strands of Nioh‘s DNA with a rewarding block/parry system that puts a bow on such a satisfying package. Boss fights are special with each subsequent clash with a main baddie boasting unique methods leading to their defeat. Even Chai, our quippy, snarky protagonist, has such a spirited dynamic with every character he encounters — friend and foe alike.

Every gaming outlet on the planet seemed to bust out the “Saturday morning cartoon” analogy when describing this title, but it’s hard to argue that point considering the sheer childlike joy I felt through every stylish second. There may be too much high-end Game of the Year real estate for Hi-Fi Rush to be considered, but despite that, I refuse to let this gem go unsung. It’s the definitive response whenever I see the “Xbox got no games!” refrain some gamers love clutching on for dear life. — Dwayne Jenkins

Hogwarts Legacy

If video games are a window to another world, a place where you can realize all of your fantasies, then Hogwarts Legacy stands as a shining example of the medium and what it can accomplish. Developer Avalanche started working on this game with a single goal in mind: to bring your wildest make-believe Wizarding World dreams to life. And though the game’s reputation was somewhat marred by the brand’s mere association with J.K. Rowling, Hogwarts Legacy still managed to become a very successful launch for the studio, selling a staggering 15 million copies in three months and pushing past $1 billion in revenue.

But you could tack Harry Potter onto just about anything, and it’ll probably sell. The amazing thing about Hogwarts Legacy is that it’s actually a fun game to play, and not just some cash-grab attempt to keep the franchise alive in the interactive medium. The combat is innovative and challenging, demanding you to stay on your feet, while the story decently weaves together RPG elements to make your decisions impactful. The open-world environment, with its meticulous attention to detail, almost makes you feel as if you’re actually attending Hogwarts. And need I even tell you how enjoyable it is to get on your broomstick and traverse the world as a proper wizard would?

Cross-medium adaptations almost never work — and indeed, Harry Potter’s own licensed games have illustrated that to some extent over the past decade — so Avalanche’s achievement with this title should also hold enlightening game design tips for developers who hazard a similar venture. Hogwarts Legacy might not attempt to do anything particularly grand or revolutionary, but when all is said and done, it can be a very refreshing experience for Potterheads or other Wizarding World fanatics of different degrees out there. — Jonathan Wright

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

I’m still annoyed that Tears of the Kingdom had the audacity to roll credits on me. Back in May, I lived in Hyrule, burning days of my life away while poking through every obscure corner, deciphering cryptic hints, and gluing weird robot stuff together to see what’d happen. But I suppose all good things must come to an end and, once again, it was time to actually save the Princess rather than fannying about underground on my custom-built wonky (but functional!) hover-cycle.

With that incredible ending behind me, it was on to other games, at which point it became clear that Tears of the Kingdom was — like Elden Ring before it — a game that leaves everything else looking a bit crap by comparison. I tried getting back into my half-completed playthrough of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla; I really did. But where Tears of the Kingdom’s physics and environment feel like a cohesive whole, other titles feel like a film set — it looks good, but peel away some paint and you’ll find plywood.

That Tears of the Kingdom runs at all on the Switch is game design voodoo. That it runs so well while burbling away on complex physics calculations that effortlessly handles whatever Rube Goldberg monstrosity of fans, flame-throwers, and laser beams you can toss at it is miraculous. Nintendo can be an insular, greedy, and frustrating corporation but, let’s face it, there’s nobody else putting out games like Tears of the Kingdom. It’s an all-timer if there ever was one. — David James

Pikmin 4

From the outside looking in, it certainly seems like Nintendo has not prioritized the Pikmin franchise as a whole. Over the span of 22 years, we’ve been graced with only four mainline entries, with a majority of releases being mobile/handheld spin-offs, or ports of older versions (for those keeping count, the first two games have been ported to both the Wii and the Switch).

It’s tough to say what the big N has in store for the franchise, but if Pikmin 4 is anything to go by, the future is looking brighter than ever. Putting my developer hat on for a second, it’s clear that the team has playtested this one to hell and back; there are so many small quality-of-life features packed in, as well as a bevy of tools to make exploration and combat more streamlined and user-friendly. But, perhaps more impressively, Pikmin 4 rarely veers into overbearing territory; sure, there are tutorials and “intro levels,” but the game lets you lean into different playstyles without forcing you down a specific path. — Shaan Joshi

Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

When I tell you this is one of the greatest games I’ve ever played, I’m not exaggerating. It towers above the majority of its fellow remakes with its careful combination of the new with the old and nails its delivery each and every time. All the vital elements of the original Resident Evil 4 remain, nestled in among a slew of updates that make the game more challenging, scarier, and generally a more well-rounded experience.

After reviewing this game for We Got This Covered, I promptly turned around and restarted the whole experience, just so I could appease the completionist in me and enjoy those early game moments without the stress of a deadline tainting my experience. Every element of this game is sheer, undeniable fun — from tearing through zombified hordes to puzzle solving and exploration — and its intensity is at a constant high. It’s a sheer delight, from start to finish, and should populate every gamer’s list of must-play 2023 releases. — Nahila Bonfiglio

Street Fighter 6

Capcom has been on a hot streak of success for at least the last half-decade, no doubt relishing its return to the top as an industry leader off the back of a shaky last decade of releases. Painfully, in an era where the fighting game scene had largely been reduced to an indie subgenre in terms of scale and appeal (this was pre-Smash Bros. Ultimate and Dragon Ball FighterZ, remember), Street Fighter V represented the bookend to the veteran Japanese studio’s dark years, which only served to dim the genre’s flame even further.

It’s not worth wasting more words on retelling the extended list of Street Fighter V’s issues, but suffice it to say, that it won’t get the same sense of appreciation in retrospect that its darling predecessor, Third Strike, ultimately would. It was with euphoric joy, then, that Nu-Capcom opted to brand Street Fighter 6 as an unofficial sequel to the series’ experimental (at the time) threequel, released way back in 1999.

By returning to the franchise’s namesake roots, SF6, besides boasting some of the tightest and most technically accomplished mechanics to date (and coupled with a gorgeous art style achieved with Capcom’s powerhouse RE Engine), has delivered not just the most complete suite of expressive gameplay the series has ever seen, but managed what fighting games have always struggled to reach — entice casual gamers to dip their toes in the world of no-holds-barred 1v1 competition.

Street Fighter 6 truly feels like a celebration of Capcom’s flagship series. Made by fans, for fans. — Joe Pring



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Shining ‘Starfield’ reviews establish Bethesda’s latest as a clear Game of the Year contender

Shining ‘Starfield’ reviews establish Bethesda’s latest as a clear Game of the Year contender

Starfield, one of the most anticipated video games ever, is only about a week away from release, and reviews are in. So far, they’re pretty spectacular, clearly marking the game as a strong contender for Game of the Year.

In case you’re not familiar, Starfield is a role playing game (RPG) from Bethesda, the studio responsible for franchises like Fallout, Deathloop, and The Elder Scrolls. Starfield has been referred to as the “Skyrim in space,” so expectations are pretty high.

Add to that expectation the fact that this is Bethesda’s first new IP since The Elder Scrolls, and you’ve got a bonafide event on your hands. Here’s the official synopsis:

“The year is 2330. Humanity has ventured beyond our solar system, settling new planets, and living as a spacefaring people. From humble beginnings as a space miner, you will join Constellation – the last group of space explorers seeking rare artifacts throughout the galaxy – and navigate the vast expanse of the Settled Systems.”

The game has a 94% rating on the rating aggregation site opencritic, which gave it a “mighty” rating. Let’s take a look at some of the scores.

Destructoid gave the game a 10 out of 10: “In the end, Starfield is a genre-defining epic open-world RPG with a beautifully immersive universe, a captivating story, and fun and addicting gameplay the whole way.”

Forbes said, “… if you wanted a giant Bethesda RPG set in space with better combat and a whole lot of time to level and build things and explore and find secrets, yeah, this is it. They did it.” They scored the game 9.5 out of 10.

Over at Attack of the Fanboy, the praise is just as good. The review called it the “most ambitious game in the Xbox Game Studios library to date. It would not be a stretch to say this could be one of the most ambitious games ever made, and that it followed through with many of those goals with relatively low compromise.”

The legacy gaming site IGN wasn’t as effusive, but still begrudgingly admitted it was a hard game to ignore. They scored it 7/10.

“Starfield has a lot of forces working against it, but eventually the allure of its expansive roleplaying quests and respectable combat make its gravitational pull difficult to resist,” IGN said.

IGN also has the distinction of being the lowest score from a top critic so far. That’s not a bad record to have.

What about our own review? We gave the game 4.5/5.

“It might not do everything perfectly, but it does everything pretty well. Sure, there are bugs — character models will load without hair, or as floating eyeballs and mouths, and bodies will even ricochet into space with little warning, but those minor inconveniences don’t hold a candle to its overwhelming scope. It easily joins its predecessors as a title that will hold players’ attention for years to come.”

All of this is looking like maybe we can finally move on from Skyrim and it’s 200 remasters and remakes, and finally focus on something new and exciting from Bethesda. Unfortunately, the game is being released exclusively on PC and Xbox, so PS5 owners are out of luck for now.

Will it come to PS5? That seems about as likely as a Halo port, but you never know. In the meantime, it looks like Bethesda has a real winner on its hands.

Starfield releases on Sept. 6. The standard edition cost $70. There are special editions that cost up to $300.



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Is Tom Hardy the new James Bond?

Is Tom Hardy the new James Bond?

Even before Daniel Craig concluded his time as James Bond, fans were already talking about who could replace him. Craig breathed new life into the franchise with his inaugural movie as the MI6 agent, 2006’s Casino Royale. However, just 12 years later he was itching to be done with it all, famously saying “I don’t want to do any more.” Two years before No Time To Die premiered in 2021, Craig confirmed he was done with 007. Now, the burning question remains who will be his successor? Enter: Tom Hardy.

Whenever we talk about who should play the next Bond there are countless names thrown around, with Idris Elba famously leading the pack. (Elba confirmed on an episode of HBO’s The Shop in Sept. 2022 that he’s definitely not playing the part). Henry Cavill, Regé-Jean Page, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson have also been prominent contenders, but of them all, Tom Hardy continues to lead the conversation, especially since he quite arguably received the biggest seal of approval ever in the form of Pierce Brosnan’s personal vote.

The Venom, Inception, Dark Knight Rises, and Mad Max actor has even commented on the role a while back, so let’s take a look at what he said and what it means for James Bond.

What has Tom Hardy said about being cast as James Bond?

Photo via StudioCanal

Tom Hardy was asked about James Bond a few years ago while promoting his FX show Taboo. The actor had recently starred in Mad Max: Fury Road and as you can see, Craig’s departure from the role has been telegraphed for years. Hardy spoke to The Daily Beast back in 2017 when he said, “You know, there’s a saying amongst us in the fraternity of acting, and in the fellowship of my peer group, that if you talk about it you’re automatically out of the race. So I can’t possibly comment on that one! If I mention it, it’s gone.” 

It is not entirely out of character to be somewhat mysterious about Bond, but it also was not as if he was suddenly about to admit that he had been cast as the character. This might explain why there aren’t many actors talking about playing the secret agent, as they do not want to jinx their chances.

So, is he or isn’t he playing James Bond?

Photo by Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

The truth of the matter is we still don’t know who is playing James Bond yet, but it’s unlikely to be Hardy. Not because Hardy wouldn’t be perfect for the part, but because he’s too old to see the character through what would be the next decade of films.

Ever since long-time James Bond casting director Debbie McWilliams told RadioTimes that young actors who auditioned for the part “didn’t have the gravitas” and then Eon Productions followed that up with an alleged report that it is looking for an actor in his 30s, Hardy, who is 45 years old as of this writing, was unceremoniously exited from the conversation.

We won’t know who our next James Bond will be for a while longer, but you can rest assured (or at least 90% assured) that it’s not Hardy, as sad as that is to hear. If Hardy was your top contendor, we’ll let you stew in your dissapoint for a while, but hopefully you can find solace in knowing Hardy still very much attached to Venom 3 and Mad Max: The Wasteland.



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Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Steve-O talks plans for a potential ‘Jackass 5’

Steve-O talks plans for a potential ‘Jackass 5’

The fourth Jackass movie, Jackass Forever, was released in early 2022, to both commercial and critical acclaim. Jackass Forever came over a decade after Jackass 3D (2010), the last theatrical outing of everyone’s favorite amateur stuntmen. Now in their fifties, the original cast members were joined by some new, younger, recruits to take some hits.

Although that may have been the initial concept, Jackass Forever’s gnarliest injuries were strictly for the OGs. In a matador-magician stunt, Johnny Knoxville was knocked into a triple somersault by a bull, landing on his head and neck. Knoxville suffered from several broken bones, a concussion, and even a brain hemorrhage. Similarly, Steve-O snapped his collarbone in half during a deleted scene, and also gave himself a concussion during a stunt where the cast attempted to walk as a marching band on a treadmill. So much for aging gracefully.

Now, in an interview with CinemaBlend, Steve-O talked about potential plans of another cinematic venture with his buddies, or perhaps more accurately, if he could physically take another Jackass movie.

What does Steve-O think of a potential ‘Jackass 5’?

johnny knoxville jackass
Jackass Forever / YouTube

When asked about the possibility of another movie, Steve-O responded “I wouldn’t be surprised if some kind of project reunited us again, but I wouldn’t bet on there being another movie.”

ISince the movie came out last February, there have been two Jackass outings on TV. The cast filmed two Shark Week specials, involving a series of stunts with sharks, under the supervision of host and expert Craig O’Connell. One of the Jackass newbies, Sean “Poopies” McInerney, faced a brutal shark attack where a chunk of his hand was bitten off, after a failed attempt at recreating the “jumping the shark” ski slope scene from Happy Days.

If anything is clear, Jackass is just as brutal as it ever was, and perhaps a feature-length Jackass may be too much for some of its older cast members. Steve-O in particular has been bitten by dozens of animals, fractured his skull, and has even been set on fire. No one could argue that the stuntman hasn’t put his all into the franchise. In the recent TV specials, the new crew were in the spotlight, but the originals were certainly not taking a backseat.

What would prevent another Jackass movie?

The cast of 'Jackass 3.5'
Image via Dickhouse Productions / MTV Films

Even with young blood, the original Jackass cast still takes central focus in the new movie, and the franchise is very much their baby, having first started as an MTV show in 2000. Much of the issue is that they are simply too old and too injured to carry on as they had in their twenties and thirties. Recently, Johnny Knoxville said that his doctor informed him that any more injuries could potentially be deadly.

“We never said whether it was or wasn’t [the final film]. That got written somewhere and people ran with it,” Knoxville said, when asked about the possibility of a Jackass 5. “If we did continue, we would lean on the younger cast more and the old guys would take a little step back but still be a part of it. I would have to step back because my neurologist said I can’t have any more concussions”.

Ageing aside, the original cast is also smaller in number than it was before. Cast member Ryan Dunn tragically died in a car accident in 2011, and Bam Margera’s issues with addiction and mental health meant that he had to be fired, and his scenes were ultimately cut from Jackass Forever. His removal was also very problematic for the series’ production, as the stuntman and skateboarder ended up filing a major lawsuit against director Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville, Paramount Pictures, MTV, and Dickhouse Productions – the production company behind the Jackass franchise.

In a variety of ways, the making of Jackass Forever was a painful experience for much of its cast. Its troubled production and effort put into making the movie was highly physically taxing, as well as emotionally challenging in a manner they may not have expected when the movie was first pitched. From Steve-O’s comments, it seems that Jackass will almost certainly continue in some form, but how that would work successfully is much less obvious, even to the cast and crew.



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The premiere of ‘Ahsoka’ is a sad reminder of how bland ‘Star Wars’ video game characters are

The premiere of ‘Ahsoka’ is a sad reminder of how bland ‘Star Wars’ video game characters are

Star Wars has had a very extensive history in the interactive medium. From those early years when we sat down to play X-Wing to the amazingly well-received Battlefront series and even releases like Force Unleashed and Jedi: Fallen Order, there is something in this IP for every gamer out there, especially if they happen to be a galaxy far, far away stan too.

All of those titles have a problem, however, that most of us have glossed over, perhaps simply because such shortcomings are nothing out of the ordinary for video games. But now that we’re once again sitting through a Star Wars premiere on Disney Plus and seeing the full effects of its hype reverberating through the global fandom, we can’t help but wonder if there should be more Star Wars games centering around iconic characters from the Skywalker Saga instead of these newcomers.

Cal Kestis, Kay Vess, and the problem of indistinctive protagonists

The hype surrounding Ahsoka shouldn’t surprise anyone. After spending years building up her reputation within the fandom as a Clone Wars character, it was only a matter of time before the character made her live-action debut. Ahsoka is such a prominent presence in the timeline that she has a fandom of her own besides the Star Wars community. Which, of course, makes us wonder why we’ve yet to see her appear in any of the video games.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to have Ahsoka in live-action, and Rosario Dawson might just be the perfect casting choice for her. Yet, why not allow her to appear in any one of the numerous Star Wars games currently in development? What we’ve seen so far in those games is a string of half-realized debuts, from Cal Kestis to the up-and-coming scoundrel Kay Vess.

Cal was a compelling character. He had all the characteristics of a typical protagonist and the fact that Jedi: Fallen Order incorporated its punishing gameplay into the narrative as a means to help him flourish really worked by the end of that plotline. Cal continues to shine throughout Jedi: Survivor, finding his place among the scattering few of the more fleshed-out characters since Disney’s acquisition of the franchise in 2012. But just like every Star Wars game before it, the Jedi series only became successful because it bore the franchise’s name, and not due to its own world-building and characters.

I bet most of you didn’t even care about Cal’s fate when you started playing Survivor, nor where he’d been since you saw him last. To most of us, Cal is just an avatar, there to fill a role as we take control of a badass Jedi and slice our way through countless Stormtroopers. You play Jedi: Survivor because you want to feel like a Jedi, so why not take it a step further and develop a game centering around a character that audiences are emotionally invested in?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why does every Star Wars story have to revolve around the Skywalkers or expand on that family’s endless drama? Well, you technically don’t have to bring one of the Skywalkers back. There are dozens of well-recognized characters in the original and prequel trilogy canon, and any one of them, if you prod hard enough, will have one more story to tell.

The untapped potential

Star Wars Outlaws
Image via Ubisoft

Perhaps that’s the problem with most Star Wars games, and the reason they fail to generate enough hype. There are literally 30 years of uncharted history between the fall of the Galactic Empire and the rise of the First Order in the sequels. A developer like EA could take that untapped potential and develop stories for any of the legacy characters. Though Carrie Fisher isn’t around any longer, and Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill are a bit too old to portray their younger versions without resorting to unrealistic deep fake technologies, gaming doesn’t have these limitations.

In a way, video games are the perfect medium to tell the story of what happened between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens with any measure of immersive accuracy, and we’d bet our last dime that fans would form a line behind such a project, no questions asked.

That’s not to say we aren’t receptive to characters like Cal or Kay Vess, but would you rather control an obscure Jedi Knight who survived the Purge, or sit through another epic tale featuring the legendary Luke Skywalker?

The premiere of Ahsoka, coming hot on the heels of Jedi: Survivor’s release, is the perfect reminder of why Star Wars games are being held back at the moment. The Mouse House is reserving its big hitters for live-action projects that directly involve future films or Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau’s MandoVerse. Selling the license and then electing Lucasfilm’s story group to draw up an outline for game studios is the equivalent of throwing them a bone and hoping that they come up with something decent enough to expand the franchise’s reach, which, to their credit, they often do despite all of these limitations.

At best, we might be able to hope that some of these successful launches will end up crossing over into live-action projects, but never vice versa. Cal and the rest of these in-universe B-listers might be the perfect addition to a cameo-infested event arc, which seems inevitable at this point, but you can’t expect Ahsoka, Mando, or even Boba Fett to get the video game treatment. How amazing would it be if a younger Ben Kenobi suddenly showed up in Jedi: Survivor or its sequel to guide Cal? The canon certainly wouldn’t groan under such a development, but it sure seems like the powers that be would.

As of now, if you really, really want to play as Ahsoka Tano in a video game, then you’re going to have to visit the world of mods and content yourself with a Battlefront II visual tweak. Otherwise, getting her cosmetic package in Fortnite is as close as you’re going to get to playing as Snips for the time being.



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The top 10 times a ‘Star Wars’ character got dismembered

Do you want to know one of the hardest parts about watching someone chop someone else’s body parts off? It’s knowing that the adrenaline coursing through your system is going to make it impossible to accurately place the experience on your ranked list of dismemberments that you’ve witnessed.

But that’s why you have us, a trained team of experts willing to sift through, for example, the Star Wars franchise and objectively grade the best times when someone got, as the kids say, cut up from the gut up. Do the kids say that? You work on getting the kids to say that, I’ll put together this list of the best violent dismemberments in a franchise about space wizards for kids. We’ll meet back up when we’re done.

10. That time C-3PO lost all his limbs in Cloud City

C-3PO disassembled
Photo via Lucasfilm

Somehow, despite getting more pieces of himself removed in one go than anyone else on this list, C-3PO never gets the respect he deserves. People talk about watching Luke’s hand fly off or the sickening thud of some severed Hayden Christensen legs flopping against volcanic rock, but nobody brings up the way that this brave protocol droid got rocked to his core by some off-screen nogoodnik. And why does he get this opprobrium from the Star Wars community? Because he’s annoying and he exploded like a Crash Test Dummies action figure? Because he went out begging for his life like a nobody, then got put back together without any consequences after enjoying a free piggyback ride from Chewbacca, the only character in Star Wars that everyone wants a piggyback ride from? Is that why we don’t feel sorry for him?

Yeah, fair enough. Bottom of the list.

9. That time Luke got his hand sliced off in Cloud City

Luke Skywalker losing his hand
Photo via Lucasfilm

While everybody was busy not worrying about C-3PO, Luke Skywalker was on a path that would lead him to Bespin for a family reunion.

Getting back in touch with an estranged parent is never easy, and things go as badly for Luke as they’ve ever gone for anyone being invited to join the family business. After some light roughhousing with his old man, our hero gets his mitt chopped clean off, then his dad tries to make up for it by offering him a job. That’s toxicity. That’s casual flaunting of an asymmetrical power dynamic. There’s an important lesson here: You can’t fix your parents. At best, you can get better at sword fighting and cut off their hand in a couple of years. If you’re lucky, you’ll even get to do it in front of their boss and make them look like a yutz, writhing around on the ground with their stump all cauterized. Ask any family therapist: That’s growth.

8. That time it happened to Anakin

Count Dooku chopping off Anakin's arm
Photo via Lucasfilm

Anakin was probably feeling like a pretty cool dude when he went after Count Dooku in Attack of the Clones. He’d just fought a bunch of giant bugs. A girl had given him a little kiss. He’d even lucked into the Jedi equivalent of loaner shorts, nabbing a free replacement lightsaber from a thoughtful coworker without getting chewed out. His rat tail was on fleek. Everything was coming up Little Annie. 

Then, as so often happens when you’re feeling how it feels to chew Stride gum, Christopher Lee chopped his arm off with a white-hot plasma blade and threw him on the floor with his mind. Anakin had to lie there and watch while a syntax-challenged Grover from Sesame Street hobbled in and put a bow on things for him. “Oh well,” Anakin probably thought, arm meat smoldering. “At least that probably won’t happen again.”

7. That time it happened to Anakin

It was another banner day for Anakin as audiences reached the climax of Revenge of the Sith. He’d just been promoted at work, proved that he was better at sword fights than all of the kids at his old school, and he was about to be single again. It was the sort of day that would normally call for a night on the town with your best friends.

Only Anakin’s best friend didn’t want to do shots. He wanted to have a shouting match about the democratic process and be a real buzzkill about all those kids from before. 

Anakin’s like “Hey man, I don’t need this negativity. I can jump over your head.” His buddy is all “Don’t you dare jump over my head.” Anakin jumps over his buddy’s head, and his buddy, who he thought was going to be cool, slices one of his legs off mid-air.

6. That time it happened to Anakin

Ask anyone who’s been in a car accident or attended a local theater production of The Wiz in a predominantly white community: There’s a funny thing that happens when everything’s going wrong all at once. The world sort of slows down in a moment of timeless hyper-awareness. 

“Harsh,” Anakin probably thought as he felt his buddy’s lightsaber pass fully through his left thigh. “Still, I’ve got one good leg to hop out of here on. I’m sure my pal will give me a shoulder to lean on. After all, disagreements happen, but at the end of the day, he’s still my ride-or-d…”

And then, in a moment of cold, genuine horror, he realized that his buddy was still swinging his lightsaber. That the blade wasn’t going to stop. That it was already halfway through Anakin’s second of two legs. 

“Well. Friggin’ fiddlesticks,” Anakin probably thought.

5. That time it happened to Anakin

“Okay,” Anakin probably thought some more as his buddy’s lightsaber passed through the last of his precious femoral arteries. “Okay, okay okay. Not perfect. Not the perfect day for Anakin.”

“But hey,” he probably continued. “Just because you turn to the dark side doesn’t mean you can’t focus on the bright side, that’s what I always say. I’ve still got a couple of arms. Sure, one’s metal from that other time when this happened, but it’s still mine. Worst comes to worst, I can pick myself up and knuckle-trudge my way back to the ship. It’ll be embarrassing, sure, but hey. Maybe I deserve it. I did kill a lot of kids today. This is just the wake-up call I needed. You know what? When we’re done here, I’m going to shake my buddy’s hand and thank him f…”

And that’s when, in a borderline unbelievable moment of swordsmanship, Anakin’s buddy re-adjusted the trajectory of his blade so specifically that it managed to remove Anakin’s arm as well. In one swing, he nailed three out of four limbs dangling swiftly overhead. 

“Biscuits and gravy,” Anakin probably thought. “That is the last time I let this happen.”

4. That time it happened to Anakin

Darth Vader after losing a hand
Photo via Lucasfilm

A few years go by. Anakin is thriving at work thanks to a supportive team and a boss who was willing to pay for his medical care after that last lightsaber tiff. His buddy is long-since dead, which is frankly okay, seeing how he used to get a real kick out of telling people “He’s more machine than man now” while leaving out the crucial second half of the sentence, “because I cut him up with a laser sword when he tried to show me a cool jump.”

Anakin’s been trying to get in touch with his now-adult son for a while. Things didn’t go great the last time they hung out, and in a real “hurt people hurt people” moment, he’d let his temper get the best of him and chopped the lad’s hand off. To be fair, he offered the kid a job right after, so it’s not like he wasn’t putting in the effort.

So the kid shows up again and Anakin’s like “are you sure you don’t want to work here?” and the kid’s like “nah,” so Anakin’s like “All right, well maybe I’ll offer your sister the job since you’re not interested” and the kid flips out. He screams and starts swinging his lightsaber around like he’s the special birthday boy and his old man’s the pinata. Needless to say, somebody’s going to get hurt.

“Yeah, that seems about right,” Anakin probably thinks as he stares at his smoking wrist stump. The two kind of bond over murdering Anakin’s boss, and then Anakin tells his kid “Help me take my mask off so I can look at you with my own eyes” and the kid’s like “but you’ll die” and Anakin probably thinks “Here’s hoping.”

3. That time Anakin happened to someone else

Count Dooku about to be decapitated
Photo via Lucasfilm

This one’s not special for any concrete cinematic reason. The fight choreography is fine, and the special effects are a little questionable. Emotionally, the whole scene falls a little flat. But going back and watching the part of Revenge of the Sith where Anakin cuts both of Dooku’s hands off, especially knowing what we know about what the next 25 years of the guy’s life are going to be like, it’s just nice to see him get a chance to be the hand chopper for a minute, especially when the hand choppee isn’t his kid or Nick Fury for once.

2. That hypothetical time when Chewbacca tore R2-D2’s arms off

Chewbacca with his hands behind his head
Photo via Lucasfilm

A New Hope is a classic, not just for the scenes that it gave us, but for the ones that it didn’t. The scene where Han Solo nonsensically implies that, if R2 beats Chewbacca at video games, Chewbacca will tear R2’s arms out of his sockets? Arms that R2 doesn’t have? Chilling.

What would that have even looked like? Would Chewie have attached arms to R2 just so he could tear them off? The whole thing is a surreal masterpiece of narrative negative space. Science fiction jazz is all about the notes you don’t play, and I think George Lucas knew that.

1. That time in the cantina when Ponda Baba wouldn’t let Obi-Wan buy him a drink

Ponda Baba
Image via Lucasfilm

First of all? “Ponda Baba?” Great name. That’s just a personal note, though. What made the cantina dismemberment scene from A New Hope really special was the way that it captured, in just a few seconds, the utter, pant-messing terror of living in the Star Wars universe. 

Recap: Luke sidles up to the bar. Two drunk guys — one of them Ponda Baba — get up to some monkey business, playing it up like they’re cool and scary to make the kid feel like a chump. Mid-hazing, a gross old dude butts in and he’s like, “can I buy you fellas a round?”

Think about the nervousness that you feel in this — the real world — when a stranger offers to buy you a drink and you turn them down. There’s a lot that can go wrong, but one thing that you can pretty well guarantee is that he won’t cut off your arm with a laser sword and then hypnotize the cops into ignoring the whole thing before leaving the planet forever. Even if you just want to grab a beer and mess with the hayseeds at the local bar, this universe is a nightmare.



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